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THE CAST LIST |
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Name : The Grandiose Nose Age : 32 Sex : Male Occupation : Superhero The Blurb : The Grandiose Nose is the superhero persona taken by Charlie Schtook in order to combat the increasing crime and violence of Conktham City. Known for his strict adherence to a firm moral code, witty repartee and unflappable professionalism, the Grandiose Nose is admired and even idolized by the citizens of the good city. |
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Name : Beakmaster Maestro Age : 27 Sex : Male Occupation : Occasional Superhero The Blurb : Through a freak accident, involving a waffle iron and some duct tape, the cynical yet streetwise Jason Viola was imbued with a hundredth of The Grandiose Nose's power. Initially Viola accepted his new powers and rose to the challenge of fighting crime alongside the Grandiose Nose, however, after seeing too many people laid out by one city's scum he decided to leave the life of crime-fighting and realize his true dream of becoming a Chiropodist. |
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Name : Dead Freddie Age : Unknown (Infinite) Sex : N/A (Male-Behavior) Occupation : Undead The Blurb : Created through an arcane mixture of voodoo and sarcasm, Dead Freddie is venerated as a minor deity by several religious cults. He lives in the gap-between-dimensions behind Thomas Shorebuck III's sofa and consumes both hope and happiness as sustenance.
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Name : William Shorebuck III (A.K.A. 'Da Bitta Pill') Age : 24 Sex : Male Occupation : Cashier at Stuckley's Hypermart The Blurb : William Shorebuck III, is the sole heir to the fabulous, multi-billion-dollar, Shorebuck estate. William was privately educated and is holder of a First Class Degree in Business Management from Oxford University (England). Upon completing his degree Thomas joined the B.U.R.N. organisation but left after witnessing the accident which deformed David Pixelman. Thomas has eschewed his birthright, renamed himself 'Da Bitta Pill' and rented a rat-trap apartment in Manhattan. His parents are worried sick. |
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Name : Sherman Age : 8 Sex : Male Occupation : Butler The Blurb : Sherman is a rare Polynesian Salamander who hatched eight years ago in the B.U.R.N. Laboratories. The first living face he saw was that of Thomas Shorebuck III, which led to Thomas being imprinted upon Sherman's mind. Sherman is the Jeeves to William's Wooster. Despite his youth and immaturity, Sherman possesses the most formidable of intellects. |
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Name : David Pixelman Age : 32 Sex : Male Occupation : Evilness The Blurb : David Pixelman was once an unremarkable nuclear physicist. A terrible accident with an experiment at the B.U.R.N. Laboratories transformed his body into its current, twisted form. Unable to deal with the ramifications of his new body, Pixelman's mind snapped and he became a practiser of routine villainy and eventually a fully paid-up member of GEDIS; the Gentlemen of Evil Deeds and Insurance Scams. |
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Name : Macie Jennie Age : 78 Sex : Female Occupation : Perfume Sales Assistant The Blurb : Macie led a long and presumably successful life before being smacked on the head with a bottle of Dr Lovenik's Aeterenal Living Syrup. The blow gave her acute amnesia and miraculously restored her youth. As a result Macie has 24 grandchildren but both the mind and body of a 14 year old girl. She lives across the hall from William Shorebuck III and is secretly in love with Sherman. |
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Name :
Snothead Largrass
Age : 24 Sex : Male Occupation : Scoutmaster General The Blurb : Snothead Largrass is a contempary and long-time friend of William Shorebuck III. He listens to outdated European Dance Music and is an insulting, rude toad. He is universally loved. |
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Name : Melinda Foldem Age : 36 Sex : Female Occupation : Landlady The Blurb : Sleek, stylish and irreversibly zombified, Melinda Foldem is a sight which terrifies men and women, both young and old. She was bitten by a zombie during the New York Outbreak of 1994 and has yet to recover, though modern drugs and therapies have prevented the zombification process from proceeding any further. Melinda bravely tries to overcome her disability and fight the prejudice associated with it, while restraining her supernatural urge to consume brains, moan constantly and shuffle awkwardly. Has a thing for Dead Freddie. |
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Name :
Juan Grande Mondo
Age : 27 Sex : Male Occupation : 21st Century Bandito The Blurb : Once named Johnny Biggins and past leader of the infamous Mexicano Bandito Bandito's; a novelty singing act and acting troupe. After a severe blow to the head John forgot his real identity and became convinced he was in fact Juan Grande Mondo, a notorious Mexican outlaw. John is now on the run fearing that the law may imprison him for his fictitious crimes. |
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Name :
Stuckie-O-Matic L2 Unit:
#65486
Age : First Activated 2002 Sex : N/A: Programmed to act as a female Occupation : Proving inferior flesh-bags wrong, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for all eternity. The Blurb : The Stuckie-O-Matic L2 is a state-of-the-art, one-of-a-kind mega-computer featuring unparrelled reprocessed-paradigm-shifting multitude processing capabilities supported by anti-aliasing data-screening floating-point module-cores resulting in a highly-intelligent, highly-sarcastic artificial-intelligence construct. Word. |
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Name : Doctor Phone #0001487 Age : Manufactured 2005 Sex : N/A: Identifies as Male Occupation : Answering the telephone in a calming deep manly baritone, all day every day. The Blurb : Doctor Phone is effectively an answering machine attached to a limited artificial intelligence created by Stuckie Inc. This model has proved quite popular and an upgraded version is due to be marketed as Prof Phone.
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